she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
