Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
