Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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