where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
