The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
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It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
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After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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