Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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