Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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