3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
