Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
