I think I am morally bankrupt
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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