He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
