You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It was like getting head from an anaconda
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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