i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
