I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize