Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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