i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
