This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
