Im at strip club and am horny
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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