do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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