You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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