I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
