guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
