O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
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