Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize