You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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