Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize