He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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