dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
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I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
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This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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