i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We have started to decorate penises.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
