I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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