My hand turned me down
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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