would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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