No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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