Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She bit a glass in half.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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