tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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