Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Two words: blizzard sex
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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