I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
