So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
