yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
