There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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