I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
