Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
