so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize