i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
