butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
