Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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