She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
