I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
