this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
