Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
