Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize