i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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