he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
