Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
