party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
