i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Send help, water and tortillas.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
