I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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