I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize