Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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