That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
