I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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